It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. – Ephesians 4:11-13
As a child, I used to watch a lot of Bugs Bunny Cartoons, mainly because we didn’t have cable and this was one of the more popular cartoons made available to the masses relying on antennas for signal. In many of his cartoons we would see Bugs traveling via tunnel. He’d pop up wondering where he was and how he ended up there. He’d check the map and try to determine where he’d made his misstep, but before long he’d be engaged in whatever problem he faced there and began to deal with that. Funny, what we remember. Funnier still how these things come back to teach us lessons later.
Recently, I was sitting in a meeting at work; watching, listening, contributing nothing. I am uncertain of the topic, uncertain of the method, uncertain of the process and uncertain of a solution. Others in the meeting are answering questions, offering more questions to consider and raising the levels of excellence of the university. It was at that moment when I realized, that maybe I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.
I am not an academic – a funny notion considering that I work in higher education. I sit in meetings and am dazzled by the minds of people far more gifted at this type of work than I am. This isn’t a pity party or a cry for sympathy. There is a big difference between self-doubt and self-assessment, and this is the latter. It’s an honest assessment. I am not passionate about standards and assessments and standard deviations, and when I watch brilliant people who have that passion working, the differences become even more obvious to me. So the elemental question that I have now is this: what is it that I am passionate about? I look back over the past two years and see clearly why God brought me to the place that I am today. I have learned things that have helped me to grow, to be stretched in areas that needed stretching. But it is obvious to me as I check the roadmap (Paper GPS for you young ones) of my life that I’m about to change direction, and I need to learn exactly what that direction is going to be. In short, I need to answer this question: What is the true calling to which God has created me?
This is what I will be praying about – the things I plan to press God for over the days to come. I will do so with purpose, because I know that God will be true to His word and promises for me life. Just because I can’t see what He’s doing, doesn’t mean He’s not at work. In fact, when things have worked themselves out and I am exactly where I need to be, with the right people, doing the very work He created me to do, it will be obvious that He was the one who made that happen. In Him I trust.