Engaging

Posted on June 4, 2010 by day1of1

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” – Proverbs 31:29

 
It’s June, and you know what that means – it’s wedding season.  Got a wedding (or two) to attend this month?  Need to stop by the card shop and pick up some anniversary cards?  That’s not really surprising.  When it comes to the most weddings in the United States in any given month, June is the leader.  People no doubt pick June because of the warmer weather, the blooming flowers, summer vacation, and just the fact that it is a bit of an American tradition.  Once again, this isn’t really surprising.  June offers many things that couples want in order to make the memories of their wedding day special for the rest of their lives.  Of course, this got me to thinking about the many choices that come along with weddings: where to have it, what to eat, where to honeymoon, who to invite, how to decorate, what kind of music, and so on.   But throughout that list, one question of significance has been (and often is) left out. 

 
Am I marrying the right person?  This is an important question for both participants in an engagement, but I’ll pay special attention to the man’s perspective in this – after all, he is the one who buys the ring, drops to one knee and asks the question.  How does he know that she’s the one?  If only there were a checklist of the Scriptural attributes and qualities a man ought to look for in choosing a wife.  Well, as luck would have it…

 
Do you know a Proverbs 31 woman?  If you’re not sure, take a few moments and read Proverbs 31:10-31.  Once you’ve read it, you’ll know right away if you have ever met such a woman: noble character, valued by her husband, lacking nothing, diligent in her work, strong, smart, compassionate, resourceful, faithful, and one who brings blessings upon her family.  What woman would not want to develop these traits?  What more could a man desire from God when he prayerfully considers taking a wife?  God spells these things out for us so that we can clearly see what a Godly wife brings to a marriage.  It also encourages men to be better husbands by showing them the great blessings they and their family will receive from living with a Proverbs 31 wife and mother.

 
A Proverbs 31 woman is a rare find indeed.  In today’s modern age, ability, faithfulness, and beauty have been commonly replaced by shock value, notoriety, and sexuality.  Women realize that their fifteen minutes are dependent upon their ability to be relevant by any means necessary.  And by desiring and encouraging these types of behaviors, men bear a sizeable responsibility for this shifting focus as well. With this in mind, it becomes even more important to develop and support the women who diligently live their lives to the standards spelled out by Proverbs 31.  So as you seek the man or woman God has designed for you, seek also His will for your life so that you might prepare yourself properly to serve Him throughout your marriage.  If you are already married, ask God to build up in you the skills needed to achieve a maximized blessing by completing your roles as husband and wife.  It is then that you will know the fullness of what God intended for us to have in the gift of marriage, in peace, with joy, with purpose, and in love.

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Who Am I?

Posted on May 30, 2010 by day1of1

Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. – Titus 2:6-8

 
If you ever get the chance, I would highly recommend a visit to Holland, Michigan.  What an enjoyable little town.  Now I’m sure that it has its pros and cons like everyplace else, but whenever I visit I always find several things.  First, the town is quaint – and not that touristy forced quaint.  It is the type of place where you can walk around and enjoy store fronts, restaurants, people, and of course tulips.  Next, there’s a great coffee shop – JP’s Coffee (probably more of a personal preference, but hey, this one is about me).  And finally, I always come away a better man than when I arrived.  Now that’s a hard claim to make, and one you won’t see on the chamber of commerce’s website, but it’s true and I’d like to tell you why.

 
Dan Webster is a friend and a mentor with whom I meet (at the coffee shop in the heart of the quaintness) every so often.  He builds Christian leaders by trade (his website is the Authentic Leadership link on this page) and in the midst of his busy schedule has graciously offered blocks of his time to meet and talk with me.  I sat down with him just a few days ago.  We talked, caught up, and discussed a few points of concern on which I was seeking his thoughts.  As we were talking about keeping a schedule, God revealed to me the real reason why I was talking to Dan. I realized that the struggles we were discussing were small symptoms of a bigger issue.  I found myself facing a question that I needed to answer: What kind of man do I want to be?

 
It’s funny that I would italicize the word I.  It’s the smallest word, but in this context it has the greatest significance.  I know the man that God wants me to be and with the help of the Spirit I pursue that daily.  But between my own two ears, the vision of who I want to be has always been lacking.  I’ve tried to be who other people want me to be – as a son, brother, father, and an educator.  But until I fully come to terms with who I am, I will be held back from the destiny that awaits me.

 
Since that day, I have found myself reflecting upon this idea.  To begin, Dan charged me with simply writing it out.  As that document comes into form, I have continually asked myself a question: “Am I the type of man who…?”  I’ve filled in the blank dozens of times.  I am the type of man who lives in a clean house, who meets deadlines, who takes pride in his yard, who fulfills obligations, who is committed to improving, who lives his faith.  Each day has been filled with these reminders, and not coincidentally, every day since has been more productive, more focused, and filled with growth.  It’s still early and I have a long way to go, but the foundation of a much needed paradigm shift is underway and I thank God for what He is doing in me.  With His ongoing help, I will be a better son, brother, father, educator, and man of God.  How do I know this?  It’s because that is the man that I want to be.

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Life Labels

Posted on May 25, 2010 by day1of1

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it. – Isaiah 30:21

 
I recently completed an online test to determine my life expectancy based on my current levels of health, diet and lifestyle.  The results – 91.  Not bad.  Of course, I’m still working to improve my health, and so I fully expect that number to increase to 123, leaving me many more years to share with the people I love, doing all of the things that God has called me to do.

 
As I sit here and think about the life I’ve lived and the life still to come, I am struck by the labels we place upon our lives.  Infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, our teenage years, college years, child raising years, golden years, our 20’s, 30’s, and so on.  This list is incomplete, and the periods are in many ways repetitious and varied.  In all of this, I see one thing in common: each label features a length of time that lasts at least a year.  In most cases, these periods of time span several years or even decades.  It’s funny to me how our “life labels” are by nature so lengthy, because looking at life in such big chunks only disguises the truly important things.  We plan the wedding for months, but the act of God joining husband and wife happens in an instant. Set your schedule for the day, only to experience sudden chest pains and watch your life change immediately.  Your plan for the rest of today may get thrown out the window before you even finish reading this blog.  Simply put, we weren’t made for the long haul.  Life is now. 

 
Don’t believe me?  Think about it for a moment.  You have heard time and time again about the importance of long-term planning for health, finance, career plans and so on.  So tell me, how does your retirement grow?  Just set the money aside and spend it when you retire?  No.  Effective planners will tell you that you systematically review your investments to maximize profitability.  Career driven people are regularly updating their resume or vitae in preparation for future opportunities.  Couples who remain happy together for decades do so because they work at communicating and sharing love daily.  Long term success hinges upon short term effort. 

 
Here’s another favorite of mine.  Ever meet somebody for breakfast or a morning cup of coffee and hear them tell you that they’re having a bad day?  Can they really make that assessment at 9:00 a.m.?  Statistically, that’s impossible – you haven’t experienced enough of the day to make that claim.  No trophies are awarded for leading lap 6 of the Daytona 500, which is why you couldn’t possibly convince a driver to slow down and concede defeat at that point.  Our lives are the same way.  Satan and our sinful flesh try to convince us to label and categorize time so that we might overlook the simple interactions that mean the most to us.  We race to get to the benefits of the next level of life only to bemoan losing the blessings of the previous levels.  So if you’ve had a bad morning, call it that, but look for ways to improve in the afternoon, or the next hour, or for the next five minutes.

 
Life is about the moment. Take time to consciously live each moment, learning the lessons and completing the tasks that God has placed before you.  We should strive to be careful about moving forward too quickly and missing our call.  We should be equally careful to not look back with sweeping generalizations that would cheapen the experiences and life lessons God has provided us in preparation for today’s work.  And in all things, may we constantly turn to our Father in Heaven to guide us down the path He has prepared for us.  God will never move us too quickly nor will He leave us behind.  Our life is His, and He loves us in every moment.  May we return that love, moment by moment, for the rest of our days.

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Integrity

Posted on May 16, 2010 by day1of1

While driving to work recently, I was listening to a talk radio station.  It must have been a slow news day, because the talking head was discussing the “unwritten rules of life.”  Callers shared numerous examples of the important rules we should live by; you know, deep things like don’t strike up conversations while in the elevator.  As I listened, two thoughts came to my mind…

 
#1     I really need to get my mp3 player working again.

#2     These kind of rules are interesting, but they’re really not rules by which we ought to live.

 
After careful deliberation, I’ve decided to spend the rest of this post talking about thought #2.

 
There are countless plans and programs that help to guide us in the ways that we should live.  Books, videos, webinars, and conferences are dedicated to financial freedom, healthy living, and bettering ourselves.  People will spend millions of dollars this year on retreats and counseling sessions where they will develop self improvement plans, personal mission statements, and credos by which they will structure their lives.  I’m not knocking these things.  If a speaker inspires you to improve, then listen.  If a book will lead you to higher level, read it.  If repeating your confession will focus your life toward success, then speak it.  But in the midst of all of this, I am struck with a simple observation.  The common thread that runs through all of these pieces is integrity.

 
Integrity.  Think of the people you love and admire the most.  Chances are they possess this trait.  The bosses you like to work for have integrity in managing your company.  A businessman you trust with your hard earned money must demonstrate integrity in their transactions.  A loving husband or wife will maintain the highest levels of integrity whether their spouse is out of town or in their arms.  Sounds great doesn’t it?  We should all operate with integrity – a simple and totally effective life rule.  So why then is it so hard to find?  Take a look at the nature of integrity and it’s easy to see.

 
Integrity is difficult.  Ever walk away from a gossip session because you knew it was the right thing to do?  Ever tell someone you love that they shouldn’t do something they want because you know it’s not right for them?  Ever stand alone on a position you know to the correct, even though your courage was mislabeled as stubbornness or insubordination?  It’s easy to go along with the group to maintain peace.  It’s easy to stay quiet when a classmate or a colleague is being mistreated.  It’s hard to maintain your integrity in standing up, speaking up, or denying yourself when popular opinion opposes you.  But remember the simple quote – What is right is not always popular, and what is popular is not always right.”

 
So how do we manage to stand up under the weight of those who would lead us from our convictions?  Look no further than the power of God at work in your life.  True integrity is rooted in the realization that we as individuals don’t have the ability to maintain our position by our own strength.  But as Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. 
 

As I look back upon my life, I can remember making choices that I knew deep down in my heart that were both right and wrong.  Some of those choices were going to make people angry.  Some of those choices were answers to prayer.  Some of those choices brought glory to God.  Some of those choices brought me pain and humiliation.  Some of those choices hurt other people deeply.  Some of choices I’d repeat without hesitation, and there are some I’d relish the chance to remake.  But in any of these situations, how thankful I am to be able to say that I have learned, grown, and have stepped forward confidently knowing that God’s grace is sufficient in leading me toward the destiny He created me the achieve.

 
“Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.”  Philippians 4:13 (The Message)

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Tomorrow

Posted on May 8, 2010 by day1of1

I’m sitting in my office on the campus of Concordia University in Ann Arbor, Michigan awaiting the start of the 2010 Commencement Ceremony.  It is a chilly morning – not what you would expect for this part of the country at this time of the year.  But the gray skies and the chilled air will not dampen the spirits of the men and women who will walk across our stage today to receive their degrees.  I know many of the students who are participating in commencement today.  I have taught them in my courses.  I have observed them in fieldwork and student teaching settings.  I have watched them participate in sports, concerts, shows, and worship services.  I have observed them as they have traveled across our campus.  For every one of them today is a significant day – a celebration of a major life achievement.  These are the moments that happen far too infrequently and should be savored and enjoyed, because as many will be quick to point out to them, tomorrow is a new day.

 
Enjoy it while it lasts.  Caps and gowns turn into shirts and ties.  Homework transforms into work at home.  Professors no longer give you tasks – that role is taken by bosses.  And that piece of paper – that parchment in the folder that provides each graduate with all of the rights and honors worthy of a bachelors or masters degree will also provide another document – the packet from the lending institution detailing the schedule for repaying their assistance in helping make this dream possible. 

 
Some call it reality.  Others say it’s time to pay the piper.  Many look at it with fear and dread the uncertainty that it brings.  I beg to differ.  Tomorrow is nothing more than the day after today.  That seems like an extreme simplification, but bear with me on this.  Many Christians know that this is the day that the Lord has made, so we encourage ourselves and others to rejoice in this and be glad.  How then can we look to tomorrow with anything less than an eager anticipation to see what God has in store for us?  Will the phrase change to, “Yesterday was the day that the Lord has made, today is brought to you by stress, worry, fear and doubt?” 

 
Proverbs 16:9 reminds us of God’s ultimate role in our lives as it says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”  God brought each and every one of us to the place we currently stand.  He gave us our experiences with a purpose – preparing us to be here, ready to do what He designed us to do to further His kingdom.  Tomorrow will be no different, except we will possess 24 additional hours of life experience, knowledge, and blessings that will enable us to do what God designed us to do tomorrow.  Some may bristle at such a simplistic view of life.  Others may be uncomfortable with the notion that God has such an active role in our lives.  But make no mistake – God made us with a purpose in mind, that purpose is in line with His perfect will for our lives, and not only will He use us to further His kingdom in every situation but He will bless us abundantly in the process.

 
“But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” – Isaiah 43:1-2

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Picture Perfect

Posted on April 20, 2010 by day1of1

If the old adage is true, and a picture is truly worth a thousand words, I wonder what percentage of those words involve swearing?  Getting pictures taken is one of those necessary evils that we face from time to time.  Whether the pictures are formal, informal, professionally produced or shot on someone’s phone, we often find ourselves less than thrilled when it comes to being photographed.

 
Why is this so?  Being photographed isn’t difficult, painful, or physically demanding.  You see the stress of pictures doesn’t come while they’re being taken (unless you’re working with young children).  It comes after the pictures are done and we look at the images produced.  We brace ourselves before looking at the photos, hoping for the best yet fearing the worst.  Once we do see the image staring back at us, we begin to cringe:  my smile looked forced, my eyes turned red, my hair was out of place, my tie was crooked, I wasn’t looking at the camera, I blinked, I look heavy, my gray hairs really stand out, and on and on and on.

 
It’s a pretty exhaustive list of a rather exhausting topic.  But after listing the excuses, I was struck with an interesting thought.  All of the pronouns in these common criticisms are first person.  We complain most readily and most vehemently about pictures when we are the subject.  This doesn’t happen when the picture is of other people.  Pictures of loved ones are beautiful.  Images of our children are treasured, because we love them.  We love pictures of spouses or significant others because we of the love we have for them.  Pictures of those friends and family members who have passed away give us memories filled yet again with the love that we continue to hold for them.  When we see ourselves, we see flaws, but when we see others, we see love.

 
Compare what we see in pictures of ourselves to what God sees.  We find faults and blemishes readily – they stand out.  This is because we are dissatisfied with who we are, with how we look, and are fearful of what others might see.  So what does God see when He looks at us?  Thankfully, He sees us not in the way we see ourselves, but in a way more similar to how we see others.  He treasures us.  He desires us.  He loves us – so much so that He sent Christ into the world to set us free from the sin that works to destroy us.  Sin separated God from His most prized possession, but it was Christ who made it possible for us to once again stand before the Lord. So what He sees now is more precious, more beautiful, more wonderful than ever before.  In His eyes, by His grace and mercy, we are saved, healed, and transformed from what was once ugly and undesirable to something treasured, something beautiful.  That is what He sees.

 
If only we could see ourselves with different eyes so that we might change the way we see ourselves.  Then we wouldn’t make excuses to cover up for the blemishes we see.  Then we wouldn’t run from the camera, but would proudly stand so that all might see what He has done to make you beautiful.

 
And in Him, you are!

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All Things New

Posted on April 5, 2010 by day1of1

And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” – Revelation 21:3-5

 
I watched the Passion of the Christ last night.  I’ve seen the movie several times, but I still find myself moved by the powerful portrayal of the great sacrifice Jesus made on that horrible day.  One scene in particular strikes a chord with me, prompting me to think more deeply about the personal nature of Christ’s actions.

 
Allow me to admit right up front that this scene is found in the Gospel according to Mel Gibson.  According to the Scriptural accounts, this didn’t happen.  Christ is making His way to Golgotha; betrayed, beaten, humiliated, and struggling under the enormous weight of the tool that would be used to end His life.  Following Jesus along the route is His mother Mary.  As you would expect from any mother, Mary is terribly grieved by what her beloved Son is being put through.  She runs ahead of the procession, wanting to get close to Him to help Him in the only way she can – by letting Him know she’s there. 

 
As she waits along the road, Jesus appears.  Weakened by the beating and the exertion, He stumbles and falls.  Lying on the ground in agony, we are shown a flashback to Jesus’ childhood – a time where as a little boy He trips and falls.  As any good mother would, Mary rushes to her child, wraps Him in her arms and simply tells Him, “I’m here.”  Overcome by this memory, expressing the great love that only a mother can hold for her son, she once again rushes to her fallen child.  The guards, the crowd, the chaos – it all fades away as she kneels before Him, gently lifting His head and tenderly reminding Him – “I’m here.”  It is as touching a moment as the movie can provide.  Tears well up and heartstrings are tugged.  But it doesn’t end there.  That’s merely the human side of the story, and this tale is centered around the powerful love of God.  Jesus, the son of Mary and the Son of the Most High God returns her meager offering of love with something far greater than the human mind could devise.  Paraphrasing Revelation 21:5, Jesus looks up at Mary and declares,
 

“See mother, I make all things new.”  (Click here to watch the movie clip)

 
All things new.  Throughout this entire ordeal, Christ knew that His purpose was to set things right, to change the direction of man’s destiny from one headed toward destruction to one culminating in joy – from prison to paradise.  His statement shows the depth of the love that He has for His people.  His sacrifice represents the crown jewel of God’s plan to earn back the part of creation He loves above all others.  It is another amazing thought, another gift unlike any gift ever given.  But once again, it doesn’t end there.  As I sat in church yesterday, praising God once again for this great gift, I was given yet another truth to consider – and this last piece is without question the most important part of the Easter story that you and I must know.

 
Bishop Ben Gibert of Detroit World Outreach shared the story of a conversation he once had with his mother.  As a child, he was celebrating Jesus’ Easter victory by saying Christ rose to save all of mankind.  He wasn’t entirely wrong, but his mother wanted him to see it from a different perspective.  So again, with the love that only a mother can know for her son, she reminded him that there was more to that story than Christ dying and rising to save all of mankind – Christ died and rose to save you.  You.  Individually, personally, and specifically you.  The truth of it is this: even if every other person in the history of our planet refused the gift, Christ still would have done it all for you.  This wasn’t a store bought, one size fits all, generic, mass produced act.  It was a personal gift, given out of a sacrificial love deeper than we could possibly comprehend.  What greater act of love has there ever been?  What greater act of love could there possibly be? 
 

 
As the memory of this year’s Easter holiday fades, remember that by His death and by His resurrection, He has truly made all things new.

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Do We Have to Know This?

Posted on March 22, 2010 by day1of1

Confused-College-Student

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)


As an educator, I have listened to many students and parents give me their best arguments about the value (or lack thereof) of certain parts of school.  I’m sure just mentioning this is probably causing certain thoughts to bubble up in your mind about the “pointless” aspects of your life.  But whie you may think diagramming sentences, trigonometry, writing sonnets, or history is a small part of a longer list of pointless activities that schools require of students, the simple fact remains that there must be a reason why we are supposed to do these things.


The academic value of these and other activities is not what I intend to write about, so before that thought dominates, allow me to transition into the real point.  Effective teachers have a rhyme and reason for the activities they ask of their students – even those things previously mentioned.  They understand that not every activity is going to be exciting, enjoyable, or even desirable.  In fact, some projects are just going to stink.  However, we go through such experiences to help prepare us for bigger things that will have a greater value in our lives.  Basketball players might hate passing, dribbling, and defensive drills, but winning teams are made of players who know how to pass, dribble and defend.  Music students might despise scales and theory, but to be a successful musician, you must learn those basic, fundamental elements.


As Christians, God is always working to improve us, to grow us, and to ultimately prepare us for what’s coming.  We learn addition so we can subtract; multiplication so we can divide.  Likewise, we learn to pray so we can learn to communicate with God.  We experience times of hardship so we can learn lessons to take with us to the next set of circumstances – positive or negative – a lesson I’ve learned time and time again over the years. 


God’s refining work is ongoing.  In our world, it is akin to raising children.  There is nothing easy about it.  Every day brings new challenges, new lessons to learn, old lessons to relearn, and opportunities to provide children with love in the same way that God gives it to us.  For some parents, children provide frustration, hassle, and seem to be a drain upon the life they wish they were living.  Anger creeps in, frustrations build, things are said and done that leave hurt and regret, and not just for the moment.  Impacts upon our children can last not only throughout their lives, but extend themselves into the lives of the next generation. Yes, in many ways, I am my father.  But thankfully, in other ways, I am my Father – training my children in the way they have been created to go.  What a blessing it is to know that in doing so, God will keep His promises, building a faith in their lives from which they will never depart.  Is there a greater gift I could possibly give?  Would I ever want to deny my child of this?  Certainly not.  So when they get on my last nerve, when other stressors start to take control, when the enemy tries to get me to slip up and abandon what I know God has promised me, I turn to my Father for help, advice, strength, and forgiveness.  He gives it to me, so I can turn around and give it to them.


Endure the struggles.  Keep your eyes ever fixed on the promises of God, your ears open to voice, and your heart filled with the Holy Spirit to see you through.  The reward is great, even if you can’t see it from here.

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Like Peas and Carrots

Posted on March 15, 2010 by day1of1

One of the greatest love stories of the past twenty-five years has to be the movie Forrest Gump.

Now before I continue, allow me to clarify a few things.  I am not on any prescription medication, I haven’t fallen and banged my head, and at no time over the past few weeks have I inhaled any toxic fumes.  So yes, I am serious when I say that I think Forrest Gump is one of the greatest love stories of the past twenty-five years.

So what is it that makes it so great?  It’s certainly not one of those conventional “boy gets girl and rides off into the sunset” kind of stories.  In fact, while the Forrest and Jenny plot comes and goes throughout the script, it always gets interrupted and in most cases, overlooked by the other elements of the cinematography and plot.  What truly sets this movie apart from the hundreds of love stories that have been made over the years is the way Forrest and Jenny express and receive the love they have for each other.

Romeo and Juliet were described as star-crossed lovers; two souls intertwined with a love that fed upon each other’s desire for one another.  They could not stand to be apart, and that desire to be together caused them to make rash and foolish decisions, endangering themselves and others until finally their own lives were lost in the name of love.  That’s nowhere close to Forrest and Jenny.  The similarities begin and end at the start.  Forrest loved Jenny from the moment he first met her:

“You know it’s funny what a young man recollects?  ‘Cause I don’t remember bein’ born. I don’t recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don’t know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world.”

Forrest truly loved Jenny.  But he never actually knew how to express it properly.  It wasn’t a flowers, candy, and wild romance kind of love.  Nor was it a physical kind of love.  Forrest loved Jenny with a deep and total love – possibly as close to an agape love as a man could know.  This love certainly caused any number of struggles between the two.  It seemed that at most every turn, Forrest was making Jenny mad by doing the wrong thing, but even at the height of her frustration with him, it was evident that his actions stemmed from this incredible love he held for her.  Perhaps this is most evident in one simple, almost tragic exchange.  About to depart after a brief reunion in Washington DC, Jenny turns to Forrest and asks…

Jenny Curran: Why are you so good to me?
Forrest Gump: You’re my girl!
Jenny Curran: [pause] I’ll always be your girl.

In the classic love films, this is where they embrace, kiss, and fall madly in love as the world fades away.  In this film, and as we often see in real life, Jenny gets on her bus and drives off, leaving Forrest behind to continue on with his life.  In the classic love films, and also in real life, Forrest takes this as a reason to move on and forget about Jenny, start over and find someone else with whom he can build a life.   But that is also not the case.  Instead, he goes on to make his fortune, all the while never giving up on the certain knowledge that Jenny is the one and only love of his life.

Some would call that creepy, and maybe I am too, but I can totally understand what drives Forrest to do this.  Love is not a hot or cold emotion, but a gift that he has for her.  Ever buy a present for someone special, only to have something happen to eliminate the opportunity to give the gift?  You can’t give that present to anyone else, it was intended for a certain someone, and they’re the only person to whom you could ever give it.  To Forrest, love was a gift he had wrapped up to give to Jenny and only Jenny.  Consider this conversation between Forrest and Jenny after they had finally come together toward the end of the movie.  Forrest describes his experiences while in Vietnam, on the shrimp boat, and while making his cross country run, telling Jenny of peace and beauty beyond description.  Having never experienced any of this herself, Jenny says, “I wish I could’ve been there with you.”  In love, Forrest assures, “You were.”

So why didn’t she take it?  Forrest gave her opportunity after opportunity to settle down and live what would have been a safe, comfortable, and happy life.  But for whatever reason, she denies herself the chance to be happy.  I know about her childhood – how she had been abused by her father.  I also understand how this impacted her development and caused her to make destructive decisions.  But time and time again, she refused to accept the love that Forrest offered her.  Consider this conversation, held on July 4, 1976 in Forrest’s home.

Forrest Gump: Will you marry me?
[Jenny turns and looks at him]
Forrest Gump: I’d make a good husband, Jenny.
Jenny Curran: You would, Forrest.
Forrest Gump: …But you won’t marry me.
Jenny Curran: [sadly] … You don’t wanna marry me.
Forrest Gump: Why don’t you love me, Jenny?
[Jenny says nothing]
Forrest Gump: I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.

Later that night she does admit to Forrest that she does in fact love him.  But early the following morning, her bags are packed and she is out the door and out of his life again.  What is it that prevents her from fully receiving his love?  From the audience’s perspective, it defies logic.  I understand that too many things have happened to her, too many bad decisions have plagued her, too many people have hurt her too deeply, so now she feels as though nobody could love possibly her anymore.  Of what use could she possibly be to a husband?  She felt she didn’t deserve to be loved.  Of course, none of this mattered to Forrest.  You might think it was just his simplicity getting the better of him, but I disagree.  He loved her unconditionally.  He hurt when she hurt.  He protected her.  He sacrificed things for her.  He listened to her instructions and did everything she told him to do as best he could.  He didn’t know how not to love her, and never, ever would.  So I guess he was simple – simply in love with Jenny, no matter what.

Maybe you know more about this than you realize.  Have you ever experienced a love like Forrest’s?  One that you shared with someone that was unconditional?  Or maybe you’ve grown to be more like Jenny – standoffish and afraid to think that you could possibly be loved in such a manner.  In the natural, this teaches us valuable insights.  But it is in our relationship with God we most readily see this at work in our lives.

Forrest’s love mirrors that of God’s love for us.  It is consistent, unwavering, and unchanging.  It is always there, always available, and will meet every need we could ever have.  Our response to it is often similar to Jenny’s.  We know it’s there, and in many ways we desire to have it.  However, we often find ourselves running from it, hiding or defying it.  We deny ourselves the full manifestation of God’s love in our life because we feel unworthy; incapable of accepting it and better off going a different route.  But in spite of our hesitation, our rebellions, and our doubts, there stands God, filling the gap we have created between us through the sacrifice of His own dear Son.  Romans 5: 1-11 addresses this beautifully.  For the sake of space, I’ll only share verse eight:  “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

By the power of the one who by His very nature is love, may we forever share love in this manner: with Him, with each other, and especially with the “Jennys” in your life.

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Worth Sharing

Posted on March 11, 2010 by day1of1

Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised. – Song of Solomon 8:7

In this passage, God speaks of the greatness of love demonstrating for us the importance of a right understanding of it in our world today.  By all accounts, the words “I love you” get bantered about with such frequency and so little understanding, it is no wonder that people have a very skewed and limited knowledge of what love actually is.

Insert God into this picture and watch as things become clearer.  By His very nature, God not only understands love, but in fact is the embodiment of love in creation.  1 John 4:8 says it in the plainest of terms: “He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” 

So if this is true, what does that mean when it comes to love and our understanding of it in our lives?  I believe that it means if we are ever going to truly know and experience love here on earth, we must first experience it in the spiritual realm of our relationship with the Father.  Time and time again, God demonstrates His vast love for us and how it spurs Him to act on our behalf and for our benefit.  God created us in His own image out of love.  God gave men and women to each other so that we might have suitable partners with whom we can share love.  God gave us children with a strong bond of love to drive us to meet their every need.  This love we have for our own children further shows us His great love for us.  Through the sacrifice of His own dear Son, Jesus Christ, we are restored and renewed by a demonstration of the greatest love the world has ever seen.  How can we not see this, feel it, live it, and not want to share it with those people God has brought to accompany us upon life’s path?

Thus, our desire should be to extend this great love to others through our continued love and service to God the Father.  By His strength and under His anointing, we can accomplish this, and in the process, provide one another with the greatest gift we can give, now and forever in Him.

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