Still Weighting

Posted on September 15, 2010 by day1of1

Since childhood, I have had a weight problem.  Carrying extra weight was physically limiting, as most anyone can understand.  What is lost is the emotional and spiritual toll this can have on a person.  I know firsthand what long term damage obesity can have upon a person.  I am not looking for sympathy or to change hearts.  The hands of time cannot be reversed and I am not looking to expose former things.  This is an exploration of discovery to help me step into my future.  By losing 175 pounds in the last 3 years, I have brought a new discipline to my physical health through understanding how I got heavy and how to lose weight.  In the same manner I am looking to bring a new discipline and understanding to how my obesity has affected my personality and how that too can change as a part of the new me.

 
School years are difficult for everybody.  We all have our easy buttons, some are just easier.  My weight was the easy target by classmates and adults alike.  Sometimes you’d lash out – like the time I threw over a classmate’s desk in seventh grade after he led several students in imitating me “bouncing” around the room.  But more often you’d say nothing because there was really nothing you could do. Like the time a teacher commented that a group of students needed to “get their little behinds out of the gym.”  I guess she just wanted to convey accuracy when I passed by and she clarified, “or not so little.”  Sporting events were always enjoyable – I was regularly serenaded with songs from the Fat Boys and was actually called a beached whale after diving out of bounds to save a basketball (adult spectator at the local Catholic high school).  Consider dating and courting and you can imagine how my weight impacted me in that arena as well.  I’m glad I didn’t have a nickel for every time I’ve been told what a great guy I am, but…  I’d have probably used the money to buy fast food.

 
My usual response was to ignore it; to act like I didn’t hear it, but I did.  I heard every comment, every snicker, every insult.  They not only hit my ears, but they stayed with me and became the basis of how I viewed myself.  Over time, I simply became synonymous with my size.  This was a coping mechanism – it was much easier to accept it than fight it or change.  I had lost the hope that I would ever change, that anything would be or could be different.  I simply masked my frustration and tried my best to hide my size to the world.

 
This seems absurd, but it is the absolute truth.  Overweight people will wear certain styles of clothing to try and hide their size.  I took it to another level by trying to hide my size through most every action and decision I’ve ever made.  I am afraid of being in the way because if I’m blocking an aisle it’s because I’m so big – so I avoid crowds.  I hang back in crowded rooms.  I wait until everyone else has passed by so as to not crowd them with my girth.  I stand behind others and back away from conversations where I feel myself opened up and my size exposed.  I am afraid to use my size and strength for fear that I’ll come across as some massive bulk or a bull in a china shop.  When helping a friend move recently I noticed frustration on her part because I took so long to find the perfect way to handle and hold the furniture when all I really needed to do was just grab it and move it.  My actions are calculated, my motions thought out to make sure that my size doesn’t make me stand out.  I sit up straight and act in a very formal and proper manner so as to not give the appearance of being a slob.  What I’ve come to learn is this behavior gives off the feeling that I’m uptight.  People would often tell me to “relax” or “breathe.”  I couldn’t understand why they were saying this – I was relaxed, at least I thought I was.  It confuses me – but it happens very often.  In my career I am dubbed unapproachable.  In my dating life I am considered insecure.  In my own mind, I am undesirable, unlovable, and unappealing.

 
By now you may have noticed my use of present tense verbs and it may confuse you.  Didn’t I say that I’ve lost 175 pounds?  Yes I have.  Doesn’t that make all of this past tense?  Physically?  Yes.  Emotionally? Not so fast.  In truth, I am really just beginning to discover these things and realize that the byproduct o f years of obesity is a genuine lack of self-value.  I struggle to love myself.  And if this is true, how much more difficult is it for me to give and receive love from others?

 
This is where I stand today – my eyes finally opened to the realization that I must view myself with a greater level of value.  So how am I going to do this?  I’ll do it by turning to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the Son of God who extended to me the greatest demonstration of love ever seen on earth.

 
It is unimaginable to me how somebody could love me.  I’ve had precious little experience with it in an earthly sense.  But in Christ I see the purest form of love ever poured out.  Romans 5:8 is a common passage of Scripture, but it provides the baseline truth from which I must view every day of my renewed life.  “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  Christ died for us.  Christ died for me. 

 
Jesus loved me enough to die for me, in spite of my sinfulness, in spite of my shortcomings, in spite of my obesity, Christ loved me enough to go to the cross for me.  In that sacrificial act and His resurrection, God has changed me, altered my destiny, and set me on a course toward salvation and eternal bliss in His presence.  But more than that, He has transformed me while I am still here on earth so that I might share this word – to share His word while firmly rooted in the full confidence that mine is a life worth saving because He loved me enough to save it.

 
I am 175 pounds lighter.  I am in better control of my life than I have ever been.  I am connected to God more definitively than ever before.  I am filled with the Holy Spirit who will refresh and restore my soul.  And above all, I am loveable because of the one who loved me first.

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Worth The Weight

Posted on September 11, 2010 by day1of1

So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. – Genesis 29:20

 
Anyone who knows me knows that I have been obese for the majority of my life.  The politically correct way of saying it might be that I’ve battled with my weight, but that wouldn’t be true.  Eating the 1 lb. cheeseburger, plate of fries, salad with blue cheese dressing, piece of cake and a couple of beers to wash it down isn’t exactly battling – unless your plan is to trick the enemy by killing yourself.

 
My decision to live a healthier life has only been recent.  It started out of necessity.  I tore the meniscus in my right knee in 2007 while playing basketball.  The surgery to repair the damage led to several weeks of physical therapy.  The increased activity coupled with a slightly improved diet led to a rapid drop in my weight.  But once the therapy ended, so did the weight loss.  I didn’t regain, but I stopped losing.  I wasn’t terribly concerned about it, so life went on.

 
Now many people ask you about dieting when you’re losing weight.  They want to know how you did it and why you’re doing it.  I’m not writing about how.  If you want to learn that, click on the Better Life Fitness link and call Randy or Brenda Woody.  I’m going to write about the why.  Here’s the list of the most common reasons people have offered for my weight loss:

  • Illness
  • Diabetes
  • Gastric Bypass Surgery
  • Trying to Impress a Woman

My answers to those four theories are, in no particular order: No, No, No and No.  I began my workout and diet regimen when a friend and counselor challenged me to do something for myself.  You see, she recognized that I simply did not love myself and I needed to stop doing things for others for a while and turn my focus inward.  This concept was very foreign to me, but because I needed to do what she asked, I began thinking about what I should do.  God led me to pick weight loss, directing me to Randy, and the results are obvious.  I have lost 175 pounds and have changed my life for the better.  This is a great story, an inspiring testimony, but far from the final thought.  Because while many may think that the world is now opening itself up to me in new and wonderful ways, I am actually left struggling with a simple yet important question:  Was it worth the weight?

 
Now before my grammar lovers rush to the comment box and before people start sending me “Hooked on Phonics” order forms, understand that I know the difference between weight and wait.  But for me, the two are interchangeable.

 
Consider the story of Jacob and Rachel.  From the moment he first laid eyes upon her at Laban’s well he was smitten.  His love for her was deep and intense.  Knowing that she was the desire of his heart, he went to Laban and asked what he must do for her hand.  Laban struck an agreement with Jacob that if he would work for seven years, Rachel would be his.  Filled with love, Jacob agreed and got to work.  The Bible account describes that the years felt like only a few days to him because of the great love he had for her.  There was no sobbing and crying, no feeling sorry for himself.  He also didn’t pass his time hanging out at the well, looking for somebody else to connect with in the interim.  Paddan Aram didn’t offer eHarmony to help him find his “soulmate.”  He trusted that God had brought his future wife to him but that God had also established a clear path to follow before that future arrived.  Jacob knew what he needed to do to get what he wanted, so he did it.  He remained focused upon the goal, the ultimate prize that awaited him at the end of his journey.

 
For me, the process of changing my lifestyle was equally simple.  People may find this hard to believe, but I don’t miss the way I used to eat, drink, and live.  You can eat cake, candy, chips, cookies, and cannoli in front of me and I won’t cave or consider you rude.  I don’t eat it because, like Jacob, God brought me to a place where He said to me, “I have a future for you.  It is good and it will fulfill all of your needs and desires.  But to get there, this is the path you must take.”  Step one was meeting Randy.  Like Laban, Randy told me what I needed to do to have what I wanted.  And so for the last year, I have done what he has told me to do, I have followed his path.  No binges.  No emergency Philly Cheesesteak sandwiches.  Just obedience to what Randy and ultimately to what God has called me to do.

 
Of course the story doesn’t end here.  Having uncovered a new me, I have begun to discover the multitude of things that my obesity has taken from me physically, emotionally, psychologically, and even spiritually.  As the path to my future opens up to me, I have some serious clutter to clean up before I can set off on that jourey.

 
And I’ll tell you more about it and a couple of days…

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Harmless

Posted on September 5, 2010 by day1of1

Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. – Romans 13:10

 
As a lover of words, I appreciate how certain words which mean basically the same thing will evoke a different meaning because of their connotation.  This is not God’s intention.  God gives us the law for our good – it is the blueprint for constructing a life that He wants us to have, one filled with joy and fulfillment.  But most people can’t seem to get past the image of the police officer handing them a ticket, so they look at it in a more legalistic and punitive way.  This truly is a pity, because as God shows us in this verse, even His law is based fully upon His love.

 
Love does no harm to its neighbor.  In human terms, that is difficult to achieve.  Even why we try to express our love toward one another, things will happen that misguide, misconstrue, or otherwise alter the appearance of the loving gesture.  We analyze and over-analyze what we or others do or say.  We recall past events and experiences where harm occurred in the place where love should have been allowing the past to taint our present.  Simply put, the sin that has entered our world makes it very difficult for us to being able to truly love one another in the way God had originally intended.  Because God is perfect, so is His love.  Because we are not perfect, our expression of love will also have imperfections.
But this in no way means that we should simply give up on trying.  In His word God has instructed us time and time again to love one another.  Why is this so important?  Because as the Bible tells us: God is love.  There is no better way to share God with others than to model His very nature with them.  God pours love upon us in abundance, healing our wounds, calming our fears, delivering us from the depths of despair caused by our sin.  He forgives, He encourages, and He actively gives to us all that we need to live lives focused upon glorifying His Holy Name.    1 John 3:18 makes it clear that we are to be active in loving one another as it states, “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”  In fact, love is not only the sharing of kindness or the outward display of an emotional connection.  It is our greatest evangelistic tool and the window to heaven itself.  Or as Schönberg and Boublil put it in the musical Les Miserables, “To love another person is to see the face of God.”

 
I pray that you will know the fullness of the love that God has for you today and every day for the rest of your life.  May you be built up by that love so that your all of your needs will be met, your desires fulfilled, and so you may continue to share love with others in the way that God intended.

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The Confession of a 39 Year Old Man

Posted on September 2, 2010 by day1of1

Imagine taking a child to his first baseball game.  During the first inning, the first batter swings at the first pitch, lifting a soft fly ball that comes directly to the boy’s seat.  With his glove in place, the boy snags the pop up, collecting a souvenir and a memory that will last him a lifetime.  You may read this and think that this could never happen; the odds against it are astronomical!  And statistically speaking they are, that is, they are to everyone other than that boy.  I know people who have been to hundreds of games and have never come close to catching a ball.  Those people appreciate the odds, they understand the rarity.  But that’s not the case for the boy.  He brought his glove in anticipation and found himself immediately rewarded.  Imagine the thoughts that are going through his mind.  He can’t wait for the next one to come, in fact, he begins to set an expectation in his mind that he will catch another ball.  While the rest of us focus on the improbability, he lives with the belief that it will happen. 

 
Some might consider the boy’s expectation unfortunate, unfounded, and unfair.  To expect something to happen for you that the rest of the world knows is statistically improbable could be considered cruel.  So what should be done?  If you took the boy to the game, do you have an obligation to “set him straight”?  Should you show him the thousands of other fans in the stadium who will not catch a ball today, this season, or ever?  That may sound cruel, but it raises an interesting question.  What’s worse: letting the boy live in the expectation of something that may not come to pass for years – if ever, or giving the boy evidence and a logical explanation of why his expectation is wrong?  One leaves the dreamer on a long and potentially fruitless journey.  The other kills not only the dream but the spirit of the dreamer.

 
For many people, the transition from childhood to adulthood is marked by abandoning their dreams.  Astronauts and superheroes turn into accountants and delivery men.  Actresses and princesses turn into grocery store clerks and secretaries.  This isn’t meant to belittle any profession a person chooses for their life.  It is designed to raise another simple question: Why did the dream have to die?  Did God tell us that in order to move on from boy to man, from girl to woman we also had to go from dreamer to realist?  Was the sacrificing of our dreams the price of maturity?  What happened to the dream that God placed inside of us – the one given to show us a glimpse of the destiny that He had laid before us?  Where did we leave it?  Why did we abandon it?

 
Or did we? 

 
I can’t really speak for the world in this.  I can only speak from my own perspective.  According to the world, I have arrived at a crossroad.  September 2, 2010 is my 39th birthday (the first one). And as I take a moment to pause and reflect, I recognize many things from the first 39 years that are going to help me flourish in the 84 years that I have left. 

 
I have learned many things from my family.  God blessed me with parents, a grandmother and sister who used the best of their God-given abilities to prepare me for the life God created me to live.  I have experienced successes in various work and recreational pursuits which have helped me to develop skills for my ministry and my life.  I have met people who have guided, taught, and befriended me.  I have set and achieved goals, earned awards, and celebrated victories that have brought me joy.  Conversely, I have also experienced failures in many ventures.  I have firsthand knowledge of shame, guilt, embarrassment, and pain.  I have made mistakes that have hurt me and the people I care about most.  I have been selfish, undisciplined, and unethical.  I’ve felt love, I’ve felt hate, and at times I’ve felt nothing in an attempt to hide from those other two emotions.  Through all of this, there is one thing that I have learned that stands out more than anything else.  For longer than I care to admit, I have lived a life outside of the dream God gave me.  In doing so, I have delayed realizing my destiny.  With the help of Jesus, today is the day I will begin the process of reclaiming it.

 
When I was young, I wanted to write.  I loved the idea of telling stories and talking with other people.  I liked performances and participated in theater groups.  By the time I was in high school I knew that I wanted to become a writer.  I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write, but I knew that this was my passion and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

 
And then she walked in…

 
I noticed her at a choir concert.  For some strange reason, she kept looking at me.  This made no sense – I was awkward, overweight, had limp stringy blonde hair and had been assured by several of my female schoolmates that I was completely undesirable.  But I just knew she was looking at me.  We talked the next day – about what I have no idea but we seemed to find quite a bit to say.  For the next 2 ½ years we kept on finding new things to talk about.  It felt great to have someone choose to like me in that way.  In our discussions, I discovered that she wanted to be a teacher.  Knowing that someday high school would end and we would “need” to be together in college led me to decide that I also wanted to be a teacher.  It wasn’t my dream, but with maturity comes a refocusing of our dreams – at least that’s how I justified it.  Little did I know that fear was driving my decision, nor did I care – after all this was what I was “supposed” to do.  So when we broke up during my freshman year of college, I was left with a choice – reacquire my dream or just move on.  Content just to keep moving forward and too spiritually immature to seek God’s will in prayer, I pursued education.

 
Four years later, the man that stepped into his first classroom in Kansas City, KS was a vastly different person.  I didn’t really know what I was doing, but I quickly began to figure things out.  I was also newly married.  Again, I didn’t really know what I was doing, but I thought that would also come in time.  Once again, I just knew that because we were both graduating we had to get married.  After two years in KC, I returned home to Michigan as both a typical teacher and a typical husband.  I was now 25, no longer a child, about to become a father, and expected to be a leader.  I approached my job, my family, my life with a drive and a passion, but behind the scenes I was lost.  Something was still missing – something important.  I began to search for whatever it was that would fill the void that continued to grow in my life.  Coaching, directing, youth work, Bible studies, messages, fantasy football, fishing, golf, socializing, beer drinking, dining, weekend trips and so on.  I was looking for something in each of these activities, but what that thing was and how to find it was a complete mystery to me.  So I kept searching while the void kept growing.

 
Nothing was satisfying my needs: not work, not marriage, not friendships, not hobbies, nothing.  I won’t go into the details, but what I can say is that each passing year brought greater hopelessness as I worked harder to find peace.  But for all of my efforts I only made the situations worse.  Frustration turned into despair.  Despair turned into pain.  Over time, my search for a lost dream turned into a search to find an escape from the hurt in my life.  I was searching for peace, which for me was just as lost as that old dream.  My search took me to places I never dreamed I would go, leading me to make decisions I knew were wrong and inconsistent with what God desired for me.  The fixes were temporary at best and they brought with them serious consequences.  Of course at the time I didn’t care – couldn’t care.  Only later did I realize the ramifications of my actions and felt the full weight of the sins of my past.  I stand here today, taking full responsibility for them, asking God and everyone I hurt in any way for their forgiveness. 

 
Thank God the story doesn’t end there.

 
Since that day, I have been a continual work in progress.  God has revealed truths to me over the past few years that have changed me in truly amazing ways.  I am gaining ground, reclaiming things which had been lost and discovering promises that God has been waiting for me to be ready to claim.  I haven’t found them all yet.  But there is one that is coming into focus, one toward which I feel God leading me.  It is the dream of my youth.

 
And so today, I establish a new confession that will direct the next chapter of my life.

 
By the grace of our amazing God, through the sacrifice of His Son, and with the help of the Holy Spirit in my life, I will…

  • Make seeking the face of God my top priority.  (Matthew 6:33)
  • Start every day with quiet time, study, meditation, and prayer.  (2 Chronicles 7:14-16)
  • Discover the maximized blessing of God in my writing and speaking ministry as I transform it into my career.  (Colossians 3:23)
  • Produce and publish additional Bible studies. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
  • Write and publish my first full-length book. (Psalm 19:14)
  • Seek assistance in financial planning so that I can effectively manage both my personal and business accounts. (Isaiah 54:2-3)
  • Manage my time efficiently so that I can accommodate the opportunities God is bringing to me. (Ephesians 5:15-17)
  • Become a more effective father to my children. (Ephesians 6:4)
  • Build a life with the Proverbs 31 woman that God has chosen for me. (Ephesians 5:25-28)
  • Eliminate the old habits, patterns, and interests that have held me from my destiny in the past. (Isaiah 43:18-19)
  • Attain the health goals I have set for myself and establish new ones as I continue to grow stronger. (3 John 2)

 
I thank my Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, that these things have already begun to happen.  I pray that God will give me the strength, wisdom, and discernment to remain obedient to Him as I achieve not only these things, but the countless blessings He has in store for me that still lie beyond my imagination. 

 
I may not have caught the ball yet, but I will continue to believe that one day I will.  And as I feel it press into the webbing of my glove, I will know that by His grace, God will have returned me to my dream.

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You’ve Got a Friend

Posted on August 31, 2010 by day1of1

Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took him that day, and would not let him go home to his father’s house anymore. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt.  – 1 Samuel 18:1-4

 
David and Jonathan’s friendship is lauded for its strength and depth.  Even amid the most difficult of situations, their friendship remained strong, and the love they held for one another did not waver.  Saul grew to resent, fear, and even hate David.  He tried to frame him, betray him, and on several occasions kill him.  But in spite of his father’s paranoia and panic, Jonathan remained true to his friend.  He offered him help in every situation, never letting worldly circumstances change the feelings he had for the friend that God had placed into his life.  Jonathan was of great benefit to David during his persecution, offering assistance and advice to help save David’s life.  It didn’t matter to him that he was working contrary to Saul’s wishes. He knew what was right so he allowed the love he had for his friend drive him to David.

 
I don’t know if Jonathan knew that God had chosen David; that he was anointed and blessed by the Father to become the man of God that he did.  What is certain is that David was his friend – someone he dearly loved and for whom he would do anything.  The circumstances of the situation didn’t matter.  Until the day he died, Jonathan continued to serve God faithfully through the love he gave in friendship to the one God had chosen.

 
We should desire to befriend one another in a similar way.  To stand in agreement in all things, to uplift and support each other as we pursue the destiny paths on which God has placed us.  In some ways, this might be considered easy – I should just do lots of nice things for you, say kind words, you do the same, and all will be well.  But I have learned that this is not enough nor is it the correct way to go about it. 

 
In order to provide this level of friendship to you, I must first immerse myself in the Word of God.  Your faith has made you a prince/princess of the King of Kings.  If I will befriend a prince, and especially in the case of a princess, I must first stand in the favor of the King.  Therefore I have submitted myself to God in all things in order to do His will in all areas of my life; including in areas relating to the friendships in my life.  I have given my life to God and will subsequently allow Him to direct me in how I live.  He will remain faithful to His promises and direct me in how I should proceed in all things, just as He is doing in your life as well.

 
Know that whatever your day brings today, I am continually lifting you up in prayer and keeping you close to my heart as a dearly loved friend.

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Catch Me

Posted on August 27, 2010 by day1of1

Yes – another movie and yes, another Tom Hanks movie.  If you’ll indulge me yet again, I will make a promise to you that I will not ever use Joe vs. the Volcano or Turner and Hooch.

 
2002’s Catch Me If You Can is a loose adaptation of a true about story about Frank Abagnale, Jr.  The product of a broken home, Frank became an incredibly skilled con man.  By the time he was 21 years old, he had stolen millions of dollars from banks and companies in 26 countries, posing as an airline pilot, lawyer, a doctor, and other occupations.  Abagnale, played by Leonardo Dicaprio, is pursued throughout the movie by Hanks’s character; FBI agent Carl Hanratty.  Hanratty is a no-nonsense agent whose singular passion is catching criminals guilty of fraud.  What he lacks in glamour and glitz, he makes up for in tenacity.  He simply will not back down in his pursuit of Abagnale.  The movie shows several wins and losses for both characters, until Abagnale is finally apprehended in France, extradited to the United States, and imprisoned for several years before Hanratty does something peculiar. 

 
Recognizing Abagnale’s skill at detecting a forged check, Hanratty petitions the FBI to release Abagnale, allowing him to serve his sentence helping the FBI catch other check hangers, turning one of the world’s most gifted thieves into a gifted crime fighter.  Abagnale accepts the offer, but with his freedom in place and a uncertain future hanging over him, Frank decides to return back to the one thing he was good at – running away.  Dressed in a Pan Am pilot’s suit, he prepares to board a plane when he is stopped by Hanratty.  They talk about Hanratty’s life and a few other points before the conversation ends with the following exchange:

 
Carl Hanratty: I’m going to let you fly tonight, Frank. I’m not even going to try to stop you. That’s because I know you’ll be back on Monday.
Frank Abagnale, Jr.: Yeah? How do you know I’ll come back?
Carl Hanratty: Frank, look. Nobody’s chasing you.

 
Running away is all about the chase.  There’s no point in running if there’s nobody left behind to miss you enough to come after you.  Why do we run?  The most common, most obvious reason for running away is to avoid the consequences of something we’ve done, or to avoid a difficult thing that we need to do.  In the movie, Frank’s character demonstrated both.  Obviously, he was running to avoid prison.  But he was also running away from taking hold of his life even though he was feeling terribly hurt and confused.  

 
Frank idolized his parents, but within a short time he came to learn that his father was a combination of big time talker and small time swindler, and his mother was having an affair.  Unable to cope with the trauma of his home, he ran.  Unable to afford his escape, he stole.  Because he stole he had to keep running.  Because he kept running he had to keep stealing, and so the vicious cycle continued.  Several times he looked for an escape.  He met a girl he truly cared for, but ultimately had to run away from her before his past caught up with him.  He also would call and talk to Hanratty while he was on the lamb.  Now I’ve never stolen millions of dollars, so I can’t offer personal advice, but I would think calling the FBI agent who’s trying to capture you is a pretty stupid thing to do.  Why did he do it?  I think it was because he knew deep down that he couldn’t run forever – and in fact he didn’t want to.  He wanted to be loved.  He wanted to get his life back.  He wanted something more.  But because of his criminal activities and by running away, he was left with only one person in the whole world to whom his existence even mattered – the man who was chasing him, Carl Hanratty. 
So on that night when he considered starting the game again, Carl’s promise not to chase Frank was the most eye-opening, and loving thing he could have heard him say.  Carl wasn’t blowing him off.  He cared about this young man.  He wanted to see him turn his life around and have a bright future.  But he knew that it was time for Frank to realize that his lifestyle of running away needed to change.  Carl did all that he could for him: released him from prison, landed him a good job, set him on course to live a normal life.  Carl even offered him friendship.  All Frank needed to do was realize that to find the good things he had been given, he needed to first find the courage to stay; to know that despite his past, his fears, and his feelings of unworthiness, good things awaited him.  But to gain them, Frank needed to stop running away.

 
How often do we find ourselves looking to run?  Maybe not physically packing up the car and driving away where no one can find you, but have you ever run away by immersing yourself in work or by avoiding people who make you uncomfortable about yourself?  Maybe you run to a bottle, a needle, or a bedroom?  Or perhaps you do your running in a tight circle, building walls designed to keep the rest of the world away?  Is this part of God’s plan for us?  Was God pleased to find Adam and Eve cowering in the bushes?  Did God want Elijah to go hide in a cave?  Was it God’s goal to turn Jonah into bait?  Certainly not.  But isn’t it reassuring to know that in each of these situations, once they stopped running and turned to face their calling or their circumstance, God stepped up and gave them what they needed to achieve success and abundance?  Consider the story in John 6:60-72.  After delivering a difficult lesson, many of those who had been following Jesus ran away.  When He asked the twelve why they didn’t leave, it was Peter who spoke up:  “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.  We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God” (John 6:68-69).

 
There is nowhere we can go, no place we can hide that will meet our needs better than the outstretched arms of God.  In His strength, we can face the things from which we’ve fled in the past.  Through Him we will have not only the desires of our heart, but he will provide blessings beyond anything we could have ever dreamt possible.  Catch Him – He’s made it so you can.

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Letting Go or Holding On?

Posted on August 25, 2010 by day1of1

As mentioned in a previous blog post, I am a fan of the move The Notebook.  It’s a cleverly told love can overcome story – the kind of story we like to insert ourselves into, imagining ourselves to be in the position of Noah and Allie.  This isn’t surprising.  As people made in the image of a God who by His very nature is love, why wouldn’t we root for love to grow, to flourish, and occasionally to beat the odds?  It makes sense that we watch these stories and root for the couple to live happily ever after, like Noah and Allie.  But while theirs is the main plotline in the movie, it’s not the only one from which we can learn.

 
Noah loved Allie.  He remained true to that love even when there was no reason for him to do so.  His perseverance paid off, and he ultimately received the desire of his heart.  But what should we think about Allie’s fiancé; Lon Hammond, Jr.?  Was his not a love story?  Did he not sweep Allie off of her feet, treat her right, give her everything, and love her just as deeply as Noah?  So why do we celebrate the triumph of one man, when the love that another man had for her was equally as important?  It makes me wonder what the rest of Lon’s life was like.  Did he just walk away, enjoy continued success in his business ventures, and eventually find another woman with whom he could share his life?  I wonder if he saw a little piece of Allie every time he looked into her eyes?  Could he let go, or did he hold on?  An interesting question; in fact it’s curious to see that this very issue is also broached within the movie.

 
Before making her decision, Allie goes for a drive with her mother.  She is surprised to find out that as a young woman, her mother had a serious relationship with a man deemed to be “beneath her” by her parents.  Even though many years have passed, their lives have changed, and she was blessed by “marrying well” and building a relationship with Allie’s father, you can see the struggle that she continues to have over making that decision to abandon the hope of her first true love.  Like Lon, you can ask the question, did she really let him go, or did she hold on?

 
So what should he do?  His life, his dreams, his future all changed by someone in whom he had placed his trust.  He did nothing wrong.  He made no mistake.  But it doesn’t matter; the outcome has been decided.  This page of his life story has been authored by someone else without any chance for editing, revision, or a rewrite.  Ever try to start a story over, or rewrite something you’ve lost?  The second attempt is never as good as the first.  And even if it is, how do you ever forget the first?  I once wrote about Job – his suffering and loss.  At the end of the book, God restores everything he had lost, giving him even more riches than before.  He gives him ten children – all described as beautiful and strong.  But despite this blessing, could he ever forget the children he had lost?  Was it bittersweet to see a child in his “second” family do something that reminded him of one of his original children?  Did he smile, cry, or say nothing at all?  As a parent myself, I don’t know the answer to that – it’s one of those places my mind protects me from going.  But it still leaves the question – let go or hold on?

 
As I see it, the decision isn’t really ours to make.  God’s plan provides the best for us in any situation, so long as we listen to His direction and stay true to His word.  This is why so many unbelievers can’t understand how a Christian can find contentment in the most challenging and difficult of situations.  This doesn’t mean that you should simply paint a smile on your face and make believe that you are happy for what happened.  Sorrow is acceptable.  Sadness is allowed.  But above all, God is good.  He will restore what has been lost, renew what has faded, and provide every need for those who love Him.  His will is done in the face of any opposition, fear, or mistakes our flesh may provide.  Joel reminds us of this when he declares:

 
“Fear not, Earth! Be glad and celebrate! God has done great things.  I’ll make up for the years of the locust, the great locust devastation— Locusts savage, locusts deadly, fierce locusts, locusts of doom, That great locust invasion I sent your way. You’ll eat your fill of good food. You’ll be full of praises to your God, The God who has set you back on your heels in wonder. Never again will my people be despised.” Joel 2:21, 25-26 [Message]

 
God was there for Allie’s mom and her old beau.  He will guide and direct Lon if he seeks Him.  And of course, He answered Noah’s prayers by bringing the love of his life back to him.  No matter what character our life mirrors, our approach is the same.  God’s will is going to be done, and it is certainly the best thing for us.  Our decision is to listen to His will, to trust what He says, to and stand firm until the day He brings it to pass in our lives. 

 
Let go of your fears, your past, your sin and your shame.  Hold on to His power, His promises, and His plan.  Reclaim what’s been taken from you or release what you need to put behind you – listen to His word and He’ll not only tell you what to do, but He’ll also give you the strength to do it.

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Left at Albuquerque

Posted on August 23, 2010 by day1of1

It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. – Ephesians 4:11-13

 
As a child, I used to watch a lot of Bugs Bunny Cartoons, mainly because we didn’t have cable and this was one of the more popular cartoons made available to the masses relying on antennas for signal.  In many of his cartoons we would see Bugs traveling via tunnel.  He’d pop up wondering where he was and how he ended up there.  He’d check the map and try to determine where he’d made his misstep, but before long he’d be engaged in whatever problem he faced there and began to deal with that.  Funny, what we remember.  Funnier still how these things come back to teach us lessons later.

 
Recently, I was sitting in a meeting at work; watching, listening, contributing nothing.  I am uncertain of the topic, uncertain of the method, uncertain of the process and uncertain of a solution.  Others in the meeting are answering questions, offering more questions to consider and raising the levels of excellence of the university.  It was at that moment when I realized, that maybe I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.

 
I am not an academic – a funny notion considering that I work in higher education.  I sit in meetings and am dazzled by the minds of people far more gifted at this type of work than I am.  This isn’t a pity party or a cry for sympathy.  There is a big difference between self-doubt and self-assessment, and this is the latter.  It’s an honest assessment.  I am not passionate about standards and assessments and standard deviations, and when I watch brilliant people who have that passion working, the differences become even more obvious to me.  So the elemental question that I have now is this: what is it that I am passionate about?  I look back over the past two years and see clearly why God brought me to the place that I am today.  I have learned things that have helped me to grow, to be stretched in areas that needed stretching.  But it is obvious to me as I check the roadmap (Paper GPS for you young ones) of my life that I’m about to change direction, and I need to learn exactly what that direction is going to be.  In short, I need to answer this question: What is the true calling to which God has created me?

 
This is what I will be praying about – the things I plan to press God for over the days to come.  I will do so with purpose, because I know that God will be true to His word and promises for me life.  Just because I can’t see what He’s doing, doesn’t mean He’s not at work.  In fact, when things have worked themselves out and I am exactly where I need to be, with the right people, doing the very work He created me to do, it will be obvious that He was the one who made that happen.  In Him I trust.

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An Encouraging Gift

Posted on August 21, 2010 by day1of1

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. – Hebrews 3:12-13

 
One of the desires that God has for each one of us it to treat one another in a way that builds each other up – drawing us closer to Him.  Hebrews 3 clarifies this point well.  But as I read this, I am struck with an accompanying thought.  When we are sharing the love of God with others, don’t we also find ourselves gaining love in the process?  God’s love doesn’t simply extend into the receiver – it fills the room and provides a benefit to the giver as well.  You know this full well – there is a comfort and a peace that comes from sharing the Gospel message in word and in action.

 
I’ve begun to learn something in this, and this is a point we can all appreciate.  Putting ourselves into the position of giving love is wonderful, but we must never remain in that place so long that we prevent ourselves from receiving that same love.  There are many reasons why we refuse – humility, pride, a belief that we don’t need a particular blessing, and so on.  These thoughts may sound rather noble, but upon closer inspection we find that refusing blessings, even when we feel we don’t need them, is nothing more than limiting God.  Maybe I truly don’t have a need for a particular item that God is giving me today, but looking forward in the supernatural, I have to realize that this may be a piece that God is providing to prepare me for something coming around the corner.  When we realize that our lives our not ours, but God’s to direct into the places He desires us be, then we put aside the traps and open up to the full manifestation of blessings from above.

 
One of the goals that I have had throughout the time I’ve been writing these posts is to do this very thing – to offer you encouragement through the promises of God.  This isn’t to say that you are in need, or that you struggle with your attitude or perspective – far from it.  I offer these because as God has gifted me with the ability to craft my thoughts and has directed me to write them to you.  And yes, I too receive a blessing from writing them.  God focuses my mind upon His Word as I carefully construct my message.  It is my quiet time and God has blessed me immeasurably by it.  May He do the same for you today in all that you say and do.  I pray that your level of success in every area of your work will increase and that God will provide you with whatever you need to glorify Him more through your excellence, drive, and gifting.

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Healing Begins

Posted on August 19, 2010 by day1of1

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. – Psalm 147:3

 
Life is filled with paradoxes.  This is evident in emergency situations.  Here are two simple rules you’ve heard before.  When lost, we should stay put.  When drowning, we should do nothing to aid in our rescue.  It’s easy, but not so much.  We learn that the best thing to do in many situations is the one thing that seems least natural.  For example, if you do get lost in the woods, your natural inclination is to search until you discover a landmark or location that will help you find your way home.  If you are in a situation where you are drowning your immediate reaction is to do all that you can to keep yourself above water.  These maybe natural responses, but sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

 
To go against our nature, to suppress panic and pride to do what we ought to do is downright difficult.  This is true in physical emergencies, but it is probably even more important in the spiritual emergencies that we face.  Ever been lost in a forest of troubles, uncertain of the way to get out?  Ever felt as though you were drowning in sin with no possible way to escape?  You can search on your own, or thrash until your energy is sapped, but these things will only serve to bring you greater harm.  Your actions only further hinder the efforts of your rescue party.  They can’t find you because you keep running away trying to stay one step ahead of your fears.  They can’t wrap their arms around you and pull you to safety because you fight it every step of the way until you are exhausted, vulnerable, and unable to be saved. 

 
In each circumstance, the chance for rescue exists, but it can only happen if we allow the paradox to work for us.  By aligning ourselves with the instructions of our rescuer, we humble ourselves but we are ultimately saved from the dangers that would otherwise consume us.  Once we come to that point, true healing can begin.

 
Healing Begins is a song by Tenth Avenue North that captures this thought beautifully.  It’s time to lower our defenses, to swallow our pride, to humble ourselves to the Lord so that the sacrifice of Christ can have its effects on our lost lives and drowning souls.  Christ brings healing, and our lives are opened to the full manifestation of the blessings that God has prepared for us.  Click the link to hear the song and thank God for letting the healing begin in your life today.

 
Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North (click to hear song)

 
So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you’re good
And you can’t believe it’s not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside
 
So let ’em fall down
There’s freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We’re here now
 
This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark
 
Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won’t disappear
 
So let it fall down
There’s freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We’re here now
We’re here now, oh
 
This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark
 
Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don’t fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us
 
This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

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